oate:

*shows up at ur door 10 years after we had an argument* aND ANOTHER THING

clamjob:

i want to be ur favorite person and i want u to like me as much as i like u

cokeflow:

crystal meth is a pretty name

snapchatting:

shaxaphone:

snapchatting:

be extra nice to people who don’t know what fisting is

wait whats fisting

you look beautiful today

cornfuse:

you’re as unsatisfying as cold french fries

Don’t tell me what to do unless we’re in bed together

(Source: therealhamster)

rosaparking:

who is down to f…………ocus on school

ewok-gia:

*flicks holy water on you* leave

(Source: ughadler)

sandslashing:

"you wear that shirt a lot" yes because i own it

(Source: im-moving-yo)

majesty:

where can i order a pretty face

danbutt:

"would you suck a dick fo-" yes

laughparty:

if you ever feel unappreciated this Christmas i got my 17 year old brother the PS4 and he gave me a bag of pretzels

rupsidaisy:

gay8:

fuck attractive people

that’s the plan

punkbread:

*cant take a good selfie* *entire day is ruined*

telapathetic:

Sorry teacher I cant do my homework because I don’t fucking give a shit

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